"PEOPLE OF THE FINE PRINT - We Have a Great Family"
* Busy, Busy, Busy
Look Up: Luke
10:38-42; Ephesians 5:15-17
(Copyright 2006)
INTRODUCTION:
Read an example of an ad with fine print. Again,
we have an ad that looks and sounds great, but you discover the real truth, the
real story in the fine print.
Our lives are like that. Our “ads” and “billboards” look
great—only to discover the real truth, the real story in the fine print.
Today our billboard reads: We Have a Great Family. And the
fine print says: Busy, busy, busy.
Here’s the problem. Many think that being “busy, busy, busy” makes a
great life and a great family. “Busy, busy, busy” tells the real
story, but many think that story is okay. That is because in our society
we have come to equate busyness with importance and “rightness.” Let
me illustrate. {1}When someone asks you how you are doing and you answer
“Staying busy or really busy”, you think that is the right response.
{2}Do you feel important when someone says to you in an apologetic way, “I
hate to bother you, because I know you are so busy?” Don’t you feel
flattered [You already feel important because you are busy and when they say
that, they are acknowledging that you are important--Then they feel important
because you are able to fit them in]? {3}When you are busy, don’t you
feel like you are maximizing your life? You feel like you are really
accomplishing something. {4}Don’t you feel good when you are a moving
target and you can say: “You’ll have to try to catch me on my cell.”
{5}If your schedule is overburdened, is it a badge of honor for you? Do
you talk about it with pride [This week has been packed—wall-to-wall
appointments]? {6}And what is a pitfall of busy people? They look
down on people who “waste” time [read, pause for a quiet lunch, go for a
walk—“Well, I just don’t have that kind of time.”]. What you
are thinking is that they certainly cannot be as important as you.
If the mentality is that busyness equals importance then we will carry that
personal belief right over into our family life. Dads are busy [job,
keeping up with house maintenance, oil changes, diseased tree, one car is
pulling to the left, something needs to be fixed, activities around the kid’s
schedule]. Moms are busy [work, chauffeuring kids here and there,
braces, doctor appointments, teacher conference]. Children are busy
[school work and homework—got to get into college, sports, ball game, band,
dance]. We have seen so many advances today that we have more and more to
keep us busy. There is always one more thing to click. We are so
busy it is good that with cell phones we are now able to drive and talk at the
same time. So we have “to run.” “We just don’t have enough
hours in the day.” “Catch you later.” Busy, busy, busy.
Do you ever sense something is wrong or do you wish things were different?
Does busyness make a great family?
When was the last time you played a game together as a family?
How many meals do you eat together around your table at home?
How much time do you spend talking to your family in a day?
When was the last time you saw your child catch a fish?
How often do you have a family night?
When was the last time you sat and colored with your child?
What is the extent of your quiet time?
Does
busyness make a great family?
There is a very disturbing scriptural passage in Luke 10: 38-42.
As Jesus and His disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a
woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary,
who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said. But Martha was
distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him
and asked, “Lord, don’t care that my sister has left me to do the work by
myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many
things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and
it will not be taken away from her.”
In this
passage Martha is busy, busy, busy. She thought that she was doing the
important thing. But the Lord told her that she had not chosen the best.
She was intent on serving the Lord, but she was drawn to things of lesser
importance [Lord, please don’t side with someone who “wastes” time].
Mary had chosen what could not be taken away. This is one of least
favorite passages in the New Testament—because we are more Martha than Mary.
Do you think that in all your busyness, your life and the life of your family
has things in it of lesser importance? It might be good for us to reread
Luke 10:38-42 when we get a minute.
When you deal with time and how time is to be used, there is
a key passage to review.
Ephesians
5:15-17
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making
[redeeming] the most of every opportunity, for the days are evil.
Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
Like everything else in the created world, time fell under the curse of sin.
It needs to be redeemed in order to bring glory to God and benefit to us.
Time—enemy or ally? It depends on its redemption. We redeem time
on the basis of knowing what the will of God is [
If we use our time wisely, according to His will, then we will:
1.
Love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind, strength
2.
Love our neighbor [one another] as ourselves
If these
are the two greatest commandments then these should be the priorities in our use
of time.
1.
Busyness may be robbing you relationally [personally with the Lord, friends,
marriage, children—are your children activity rich or relationally rich? What
is the emphasis?].
2.
Busyness may be rendering you and your family vulnerable [you are not as
spiritually strong as you need to be; temptation comes when someone pays more
attention to your mate; you do not know what your child is doing on the computer
and MySpace.
3.
Busyness may be putting too much pressure on your child/children.
When I grew up, I spend a lot of time at the pond--catching frogs, fishing,
watching the tadpoles, etc. I went biking. We played croquet in the
yard and badminton. We ate together almost every night.
Is being in every league, numerous activities, eating on the run, everybody
doing their own thing better? You certainly don’t want your child
getting behind other children and they are in this and that, so you need to keep
up with them. My children were involved in more than I was growing up but
nothing to the extent I see today. Our society continues to increase the
variety of opportunities and sources of stimulation for children. So we
better keep the child on the fast track of he will miss out. Your calendar
is scheduled around their events. With the need to succeed and having
spent money on those activities, pressure can follow. “I paid good money
for you to do that, so you need to take advantage of it.”
Some child psychologists call pushing our children to perform and be in some
many things as “hothousing” [Minear and Proctor, Kids Who Have Too Much,
p. 126]. A hothouse is a place of relatively high temperature for
controlled and accelerated growth.
Thinking busy, busy is right and the important thing are you hothousing?
Are you “adultifying” your child’s life? Are you trying to
live vicariously through your children? You want them to do what you did
or do. You want them be what you weren’t. Do what you couldn’t.
Do what you did not have an opportunity to do. Get ahead. You want
them to be well-rounded.
Is your use of time making your family great or just busy?
Don’t you want them to enjoy growing up—
Have time to be children
Be encouraged to do their best
Help them to discover and enjoy their abilities
Love the Lord and obey Him.
Have integrity, be honest, know how to stand in tough
Learn how to be a good wife, husband.
Know how to repent.
Martha,
Martha. You are busy about so many good things but you have failed to do
the best. Mary has chosen “what will not be taken away.” Are we
investing in what cannot be taken away? Are we investing in what has
eternal significance?
If we live
wisely, redeeming the time according to what the Lord’s will is, we will:
1. Have to buck the pressure of society.
2. Deal with pressure from what neighbors and friends see as important.
3. Perhaps deal with some complaints from the children.
4. Learn to say “no.” But we will need to learn what to say
“no” to.
If the ballgame conflicts with church, what do you say “no” to?
Did saying “no” help you choose the best?
Did saying “no” help you redeem the time according to the will of God?
You will also have to say “no” to some things at church. You cannot
and should not do everything that is offered for you or your child. We can
cut back and will and have [Wednesday nights, VBS in 2007]. But you have
to learn how to make wise decisions. As a family you have to decide what
are the non-negotiables.
5. Perhaps need to establish some sabbatical times for your family. Just
take a break from some of the activities you are in. Remember that the
exile of
CONCLUSION:
Is your definition
of a great family or is the fine print of your family—“busy, busy, busy.”
That needs to be changed according to God’s design. Put the little card
on your calendar or in your day timer or somewhere that shows your schedule as a
reminder. Redeem the time. As you use up time, choose those
things that cannot be taken away.
Somebody
without a day timer, car, computer, Ipod, cell phone, TV, never in sports
leagues, who was pressured on every side but never busy, changed the whole
course of the world and my life. He died to redeem me. And He shows
me how to redeem my time.