"PEOPLE OF THE FINE PRINT - I Know "A Lot of People"
* Close to No One
Look Up: Proverbs18:24;
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
(Copyright 2006)
INTRODUCTION:
Read another example of an ad with fine print. Here
is another ad that looks good at first glance. But when you read the fine
print, you get the full story—the truth—the way it really is.
We are people of fine print. Our “ad or billboard” may look good at
first glance, but the fine print tells the truth, the way it really is.
Today our billboard says: I KNOW LOTS OF PEOPLE. However, the truth
is: *[We are] close to no one. Could that be your billboard and fine
print? You have casual friends [“How you doing friends?”—a real
friend knows how you are doing!], acquaintances and work associates who pass in
and out of our lives. But do you have a few close friends who become
increasingly important as the years go by?
Excluding family members, could you write down right now the 6 friends who would
carry your coffin? 6 that you know well and know will miss you and your
friendship when you are gone.
When a crisis comes, what friend or friends can you turn to? When you need
something at a very inconvenient time, who can you call?
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity [Prov.
E.g. How are we doing? Use the Lego container. Earlier
in the I-Church series, we talked about community and I used the illustration of
the Legos. So how are we doing? The Lego piece is interesting.
It has only room for a few close connections. Is that what you are missing
in your life?
Here are some things that we need to understand.
I.
MADE FOR RELATIONSHIPS
We
were created by a God Who is relational. He has never been alone. He
has the fellowship of the trinity. When God came in flesh, Jesus chose 12,
then 3 and had a special friendship with Martha, Mary and Lazarus [Jh.
When Jesus saw His mother there, and the disciple whom He loved….[Jh.
When
God created man He saw that it was not good for man to be alone [animals are
nice pets, but do not meet the need of human companionship and friendship] and
created a companion for him.
Regardless of whether we are introverts or extraverts we need these meaningful
relationships. You may think that extraverts have no problem with having
these relationships. But there are extraverts who are have lots of
acquaintances but are close to no one. This is a need that we have
regardless of personalities and social skills. We were created in the
image of God and He is a relational God.
You may say that you are okay. You really don’t need anyone.
Don’t deny the way you are made. Is there something more that you
could be experiencing? What will happen in the tough times?
II.
REASONS FOR NEGLECT
We
may know biblically that we were created relationally. We may mentally
know the benefits of friendships. Why then are we close to no one?
1.
We try to convince ourselves that we are exceptions to the rule. We feel
we will be okay just the way we are.
2.
We live in a fast-paced world and have very busy lives. There is nothing
left after work and being with the family. You don’t have time to play
with Legos. You come home tried and the last thing that you want to hear
is that you have a commitment or that you have to go out. All of this is
true. But have you ever gotten ready and gone on and found yourself
blessed?
3.
We live in a mobile society. People are always moving. You have
friends from the former place and do not make friends in the new place.
You just try to make it on the former relationships that are no longer near.
But distance makes that hard to do. Or it hurt so deeply to leave former
friends that you have decided to protect yourself this time around. Or
maybe you feel guilty in making new friends—as if the old friends will be
upset. We need friends where we are.
4.
We live in an instant pudding, no iron, microwave popcorn society and we do not
invest the necessary time in something that is not instant.
III.
DANGER OF NEGLECT
On
the animal channel, if you see a lion on the hunt, the lion or the pack always
tries to isolate a potential victim from its herd. That is what Satan
would love to do to you. Stay isolated and apart from relationships and
you are more vulnerable. Sin can make us loners. Hurt can make us
loners. Busyness can too. And we play right into the hands of the
adversary. We need to understand the protection in friendship if the
friendship is the right kind.
Let me clarify what kind of relationship I am referring to.
We need to build relationships with people who do not have a relationship with
Christ. We do that because people matter to God and they should matter to
us. We should use opportunities to touch their lives, serve them, love
them and point them toward the Lord. But they are not the people we should
invite to walk closely with us through life. They are not the ones
for your Lego piece.
Also, I am not talking about friends with unwholesome lives
and habits. The Book of Proverbs warns us about the wrong kind of close
friends. They are not the ones to go on the Lego piece. We need wise
and godly friends.
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers
harm [Prov.
Young
people need to realize this. You want friends. You need friends.
But you need to make sure they are the right kind of friends. We all need
the right kind of friends attached to our Lego piece.
IV. THE BENEFIT OF FRIENDS
Sharing
life with those close to you causes it to gain meaning. They enrich our
lives far more than possessions you have or things you buy. I play
golf with friends. I like golf, but I wouldn’t really care that much
about playing it if it were not for friends. That’s what makes it fun.
It certainly isn’t the scores. I went when I couldn’t play—when I
had foot surgery—for the fellowship. Friends give color to the black and
white events of daily life.
Friends provide us with resources of insight and counsel. They provide
support in living life. I have a small group that meets twice a month.
They are friends that I share life with. I can count on them.
Friends multiply pleasure and mitigate pain and sorrow.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for
adversity [Prov.
But
as you think about the benefits that come with having friends, think about the
blessing, benefit and influence you can be and have on friends. It works
both ways. Are you a friend in someone else’s life? How is God
using you as a friend?
Listen to these words from Ecclesiastes:
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If
one falls down, his friend can help him up….Though one may be overpowered, two
can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
[4:9-12].
V.
A PLACE FOR FRIENDS
This
church is a great place to find friends like I have been describing. You
already have people here who have some of your spiritual goals. You can
find people here of similar interests. You can find people here who are in
similar life stages and circumstances as you. There is Lego potential
here.
How can you break the cycle of coming and going and not finding a person who
might become a lifelong friend? Take some initiative. If you are
waiting for that good friend to just show up and ring your doorbell, it isn’t
going to happen. Get involved. You can’t find a friend without
exposure to them. Let’s say our name every time we see each other—that
takes away the need to not engage because we don’t know the name or can’t
pull it up at the moment.
This is like typing lessons or swimming lessons. You make the effort
because you know you need to. We need friends. Take the steps to
find and make a friend.
We can facilitate the process but we cannot find you a friend. We
can put a lot of Legos together in different circumstances, but you will have to
make the effort to make the connection. It is worth it because a real
friend is no common acquisition.
This is real life. It does not last forever. So why not do it the
way God designed it?
CONCLUSION:
There is a
relationship of all relationship. It is the relationship with the friend
Jesus.
John
15:13; 15.